Dreams - Wed, Dec 8, 2021 - Lil
Set on You
This morning I had a really hard time… I ended up staying in bed until 9am. Normally I am up and out of bed around 7:30 and I have my alarm set for 6:30 (spending an hour in the morning to meditate or to finishing any dreams that I was in the middle of), but this morning I literally couldn’t pull myself out of bed.
This has happened to me before, and it’s never a good sign… I think I am slipping again. I am really happy I’m still dedicated to running once a day, because it gives me something that I NEED to get done. Also I am sticking really strong to the pomodoro techinque today, I know I need to take the breaks. (I am actually writing this on one of my breaks)
So what had me stuck in bed this morning? I had a dream that was kind of inbetween a dream and a day dream… And it ended up taking a really dark turn, so much so I was shaking afterwards.
For the last couple of years I have been having these visions of myself being pregnant, but being alone. The idea of raising a child by myself is really scared. This morning my dream was centered around a scenario like that, and I realized just how alone I would be…
I am using fragments of the TNT System that Hofstadter used in GEB.
[ I went to my parents, I went to my friends, I went to my siblings, but every time I tried to tell them the tragic news, that I had gotten myself in that situation, ~ I could tell them. [ I tried to find the father, ~ He wanted me. ] [ I tried to give it up for adoption, ~~ I want it. ] ~ I have someone. ]
I don’t think thats how reality would turn out, but the dream felt realistic. When I woke up I was clutching my stomach as if there was something in there.
So yeah, funny how Fantasy can have an affect on Reality. I am still kind of recovering from it. I shouldn’t allow myself to stay in bed for too long otherwise my imagination starts to take on a mind of it’s own.
Sunny made me a playlist to make me feel better. You can find that on Her page (which is on the pulldown menu, or /sunflower/)
Sunny always wants us bottom tier aspects to feel better, but that isn’t always a great idea because she is a bit crazy and reckless, get us into all kinds of trouble, but in this case it was innocent… Thanks for the Music, Sunny. I espacially like the first and fourth songs in the playlist. I listened to it on my run this morning and they are great.